I want an innocent love. I feel polluted.
refraining from sending a “pay attention to me” text
I feel totally worthless like 90% of the time.
I hate being told that what I’m feeling is wrong, because either way I’m feeling it and it’s going to suck for me an I don’t need someone to tell me I’m overreacting or thinking too much because that just makes it a hundred times harder. Why is it so incredibly hard to understand that I deal with things a lot differently than other people? Which is exactly why I had to go to therapy because literally no one could understand why I dealt with my feelings the way I did. If I could change the way I deal with everything believe me I would but telling me I’m wrong just makes me hate myself even more because I know that you see me as some overdramatic whiny bitch when it’s something I’ve tried SO hard to change and it’s something I absolutely hate about myself.
I’m really really really sick of crying over this. And if I could stop letting it get to me I would and I think that’s something that needs to be understood. I’m trying. And I get it; I’m failing. Thank you.
It just sucks knowing you’d sacrifice a lot for someone who wouldn’t sacrifice anything for you.
Like I’m not special AT ALL and it feels really fucking good to know that.
I’m a horrible, horrible person.
this night just got really bad really fast
I make an idiot of myself by thinking my words matter and then oops turns out they don’t at all.
I’m so freaking stupid.
I’m sick I’m selfish and I’m bad.
I’m mean I’m bitter and I’m spiteful.
I can’t possibly imagine you hold more disdain for me than I do but sometimes I wonder if you do.
I got hurt and what did you expect me to feel?
Did you expect me to feel loved or did you expect me to feel happy about it?
I am not mad at you but please allow me to be sad sometimes. Please.
I feel like the most horrible human being alive and I can’t go five seconds without thinking about myself and what I want. I wish I could shut that part off I don’t want to think about me. I don’t want to be selfish.
All I want is to not feel like I’m being pushed away. But that’s all that I feel.